Oatmeal fail

Made a bowl of oatmeal.  Brought it back to my desk.  Got distracted.  10 minutes later, oatmeal is totally inedible.  FML.

(I didn't think I could accurately describe the oatmeal's inedidibility in words, so I took a picture.)

Turned the bowl 90 degrees, Zero oatmeal movement

In hindsight, I probably should not have held the bowl over my laptop, but according to my friend Teddy:  "laptop risk >10% is blogworthy"

Lesson learned

A few weeks back, I ran out of clean white undershirts.  But I obviously still needed to get dressed for work, so I improvised.  I turned a mostly white T-shirt inside-out and put it on underneath my button-down shirt.

Brilliant.

Except that when I got to work, half of my co-workers immediately pointed out that the tag to my "undershirt" was blatantly sticking out under my chin.

(Is this better or worse than wearing blue and black socks together?)

Dream

Last night, I dreamt that I was a neurotic drug dealer's assistant.  My job was to count his money, which consisted of exactly 4 dollar bills that he had just gotten paid.  I counted these 4 dollars over and over again to assure him that he got paid correctly.  I literally counted the money a few dozen times.

And even though I only had to count to 4, it was actually pretty difficult.  But no worries, I did a good job.

Clearly I have a future in math...

Sunday heat wave

I'm sitting in my apartment this past Sunday afternoon, shvitzing.  It's really hot for some reason, even though I have the AC and fan on full blast.  It's been getting hotter and hotter all afternoon, and I can't figure out why the AC is not working.  It's a small apartment;  it shouldn't be that hard for the AC to cool everything down.

Then I realize my oven was still on from the lunch I had heated up 4 hours earlier.

Conference Call Catch 22

A few Thursdays ago, I was flying home to Detroit for the July 4 weekend.  My flight landed at 5 pm Detroit time, and my dad was picking me up from the airport.

I got some work done on the plane, but inevitably I fell asleep mid-flight (obviously).  I was asleep all the way until the wheels hit the ground, which woke me up.  (What a great nap!)

Anyway, as we're taxi-ing to the gate, I decide to check my phone for any updates from work or emails from my team.

Bing!  A meeting reminder pops up telling me that there is a work conference call going on that started 20 minutes earlier.  I had thought I would miss that meeting entirely because of my flight.  But I guess my flight landed earlier than scheduled.  Thinking that the meeting was just an informal check-in between a few people from my team, I decide they won't mind me joining the call a few minutes late.

So I dial in, and the conference call system asks me to state my name.  Still a bit groggy from my nap, I say:

"Umm.....David"

The system broadcasts to everyone:

"Beep! -Ummm....David-...has joined the meeting."

But then I hear a bunch of people talking on the line.  And not just any "people".  I hear the VP of the client company talking to a few other significant client reprepesntatives, as well as my manager and a few others.

I had called 20 minutes late to a full client work meeting, not a small informal discussion with my team.  And the conference call system had loudly announced my groggy tardy arrival over speakerphone to everyone in the room!

Since I was still on the plane where it was a bit loud with everyone around, I quickly put my phone on mute.  (Good thinking!)

But now my real problem had started.  I was on mute on this conference call (which was good), but I couldn't hang up now because then the system would announce my departure!

"Beep!  Umm....David....has left the meeting."  (Grrr...Stupid automated systems!)

I was stuck!

But it gets better....because I needed to call my dad to tell him to swing the car around to the airport terminal to pick me up.  He was waiting for me to call, but I had (stupidly) called the conference line first.  How was I supposed to reach him now?

I was tempted to try putting the conference call on hold, so I could call my dad on the other line.  But then I realized that with my luck, I would probably end up 3-way calling my dad into the conference call, where all the clients in the meeting would hear me talking to him about where to pick me up!  (Now that would be a blog post!)

So instead, I try texting my sister, asking her to call my dad, but I don't get any response from her.

In the meantime, I've gotten off the plane, and I'm wandering around the airport terminal, with my phone in my pocket, on mute and on speakerphone.  I'm waiting for the meeting to end so I can call my dad.  In a nutshell, I'm an idiot.  Once again, I find myself in a situation that only I can get into.

Finally, after 20 minutes, I decide to walk outside to see if maybe my dad had driven up to the terminal anyway.  No such luck.  He is still waiting for my call.

So I go up to some random business-y looking guy on the bench outside, and I ask him if I can use his phone because "my phone ran out of batteries."  I'm not sure if he noticed my phone clearly making noises in my shirt pocket, but regardless, he lets me use his phone.  I call my dad; he picks me up, and finally the meeting ends about 5 minutes before we get home.

Some wisdom learned

Swiping my credit card will not open my hotel door, no matter how many times I do it.

Mixed drinks at work

Seltzer and orange juice = Delicious
Seltzer and hot coffee = Not so delicious

Waste of time (and thumbs)

My laptop froze today during the log-in screen.  Well, actually, it was only sort-of frozen.  I won't get into the details, but ultimately it wouldn't let me do anything even though it seemed to still be trying to log in.  So I decide to wait for it to unfreeze.  (For some reason, I decided to be patient, not sure why.)

Anyway.....15 minutes later, it's still stuck.  So I decide to call the Tech Help guys in my office.  But why make a phone call when I can send an email through my phone!  So I decide to simply take a picture of the frozen computer screen and send it to them through my phone.  Makes sense, right?

So I snap the photo and start typing up an email on my phone explaining the problem.  I'm trying to explain the nuances of the "sort-of-frozen-ness" of the screen, and I even re-read the email and re-wrote a few sentences to make sure I was being crystal clear.

After a few minutes of typing, my thumbs are quite numb, but the email is finished and polished and ready to send.

But of course, at that exact moment....DA DA DUH DAH (aka. Windows log-in music.)

The computer unfroze and logged me in, but only after I had paralyzed my thumbs trying to craft an email to the IT guys about it.

Rock in my shoe

So my left shoe was making noises all day at work yesterday and today.  I thought maybe it was just the carpet at the office, or perhaps just the inside sole had come loose again.

But then I realized it didn't sound like that at all.  Instead, it sounded like a maraca.

So I sit down, take off my shoe, and lo and behold....

The sole of my shoe is frikkin' hollow!

A squirrel could've stored an entire season of nuts in there!

Anyway, I removed the rock and all is better.  (But I'm pretty sure this will end up happening every day until I get the shoe replaced (again.)

Stiebel does something stupid #286

I was driving in Seattle this past Sunday afternoon.  I got to a 3-way intersection and stopped to let a minivan taxi cab go ahead of me.  Instead of going ahead, the driver sort of waves and points behind me.

I'm not sure what he's pointing at, so I wave him ahead again.  But he keeps pointing behind me.

So I think maybe there are some cars waiting behind me, and he wants me to go first.  But when I look out my rear-view mirror, I don't see any cars.  And since I'm not in a rush and I'm in an overly-polite mood, I wave the cabbie ahead of me again.

He continues to gesture behind me.  I check the rear-view mirror again, and I still can't see any cars behind me.  But then my brain catches up to my eyes, and I realize that I can't see anything behind me!  All I see is shiny red...which happens to be the color of my car trunk.

I'd been driving with my trunk all the way open.

Needless to say, the cabbie had a good laugh at my expense.

At least I wasn't driving with the hood of my car open.  That would've been awkward!

Have you ever....

Have you ever tried to roll up your sleeve, and just as you tug it the last few inches past your elbow, your fingers slip and you punch yourself in the face?

I have.

Fish catching and throwing

I almost forgot the best part about my Sunday trip in downtown Seattle.

I caught a fish at the market!

yes, that is a full-size salmon

I've seen videos of these guys throwing fish back and forth, so I asked one of them if they let other people try, and he did!

Here's a video of them in action:



The one unfortunate thing about catching that fish was that I didn't get a chance to wash my hands for a good 4 hours afterward.  :)

Pike's Place Market

Last Sunday, I walked around downtown Seattle with one of my new local friends Gavi.  There were several highlights to this outing, but certainly the sights and sounds of Pike's Place market were the best.

Pike's Place market is basically a huge open-air market and bazaar, with a bajillion shops and eateries and attractions and people.  It's pretty cool just to walk around, (which is exactly what we did.)

A quick highlight reel:

The mose delicious piece of technology I have ever seen.

completely automated mini-donut machine - AWESOME!

A very talented one-handed Rubik's cuber dude

one-handed Rubik's cube while spinning a giant tray

with the other hand, solved in 1:06 minutes.

And he's cute, too!

A giant nuclear missile being marched down the street

i hope they have a permit for that thing

An X-rated Starbucks coffee shop....sort of

this is their original logo, apparently

A 1920s porno machine...sort of

It was literally just a series of pictures of a

fully-dressed woman standing in a bathroom

 Other highlights included:

• doing magic tricks for the people working in the magic shop,
• asking for multiple samples from the chocolate stand,
• reading inappropriate passages from sci-fi novels outloud in the used bookstore,
• almost dumping water all over a table of classic books at same bookstore,
• pretending to use the bathroom at a restaurant just so I could ask for a plastic fork on my way out

All in all, a good day in Seattle.

9 year old kid with flamboyant sequin shirt walks in front of me on street.

I was thinking about writing up a detailed account of this particular event from last Sunday in Seattle, but I think the title says it all.

long-sleeve, bright purple, 100% sequin shirt

His entire family was dressed totally normal, but for some reason he decided to go a different route today.  He wasn't even wearing tap shoes or a feather boa or anything that would have at least suggested he was coming back from some sort of school performance.

(And props to me for snapping this photo without stopping and without bring attention or humiliation to myself.)

Possibly awkward moment from last week

I went to dinner in Seattle with my friend Jeremy and his mom (who was visiting him for a few days.)  We went to a Chinese place near downtown, and when the fortune cookies came, we each took one and shared our fortunes with one another.

Jeremy's and my fortune were pretty standard.  Something about good luck or something.

This is what Jeremy's mom got:

"in bed" is sort of redundant here.

I couldn't quite tell if it was an awkward moment, but it sure was funny.  And I was very tempted to ask Jeremy directly about what he thought of his mom's fortune, but I decided against starting that conversation at the table.

All in all, a very pleasant dinner.  Thank you Jeremy's mom!