Passover Cupcakes

Crumbs Bake Shop is a small cupcake bakery with stores throughout the East Coast, and one in Chicago (I think.)  There is some talk about whether or not they are reliably kosher, but that's not what this post is about.

Someone mentioned to me that Crumbs is selling a line of Flourless Passover Cupcakes this week!  Awesome!

After a little Googling, I found their cupcake page with this description of their "Passover Collection":

Flourless wonders! Three each of our taste size Passover cupcakes Chocolate/Vanilla Commandments, Elijah's Delight, Holy Moses and Raspberry Red Sea. Our cupcakes are certified Kosher, but not Kosher for Passover. Available in stores beginning 4/11.

Wait, their Passover cupcakes are not kosher for Passover?!  Then what's the point!!  I guess I'll have to stick with matzah for the rest of the week.  Om nom nom

Colleague

Got the following email from one of the guys in my office today. [I removed names for privacy reasons]:

Told [Client A] and [Client B] I was going to business school next year. [Client B] asked how things were going to work with my girlfriend to which I replied that we were no longer together. He then tried to set me up with his daughter. He ended our lunch saying he and [Client A] would invite me out for dinner sometime later on - and include his daughter.
 Funniest part: [Client B]'s daughter has a boyfriend - He just doesn't like him.

I guess there are some unique perks to working with clients who have 20+ year-old daughters.

Free snacks

My office regularly puts out free food and snacks in the kitchen/cafeteria area.  Usually these are leftovers from local take-out places (Jimmy John's, various pizza places, etc.)  This is a great perk in our office....except that most of the time I can't take advantage because the food isn't kosher.  (Not that I would expect it to be kosher.)

But today, I walk into the kitchen... and there is a HUGE basket of Chips Ahoy cookies, a bunch of bags of potato chips, carrots, and a bunch of tubs hummus... and they are all KOSHER!!  Woo Hoo!

I was so excited at my good fortune!!!....until I realized that it's Passover and I can't eat it... FML

Scared face

I'm working late in the office.  There aren't really any people around.  I go to the men's room.  After washing my hands, I turn to walk out and I nearly walk into a random guy who had entered without me noticing.  Instead of just saying 'excuse me' and walking out, I'm pretty sure I squeaked and briefly made a scared face. (He surprised me!)

To clarify, I squeaked.  I did not scream.

Note to self:
Stop getting into weird situations in the bathroom.

TV remote from hell

Who knew you could get carpal tunnel from channel surfing?

Heart attack

So a few weeks back, I was in a small but important meeting with one of the senior VPs of our client company in Pittsburgh.  During that meeting, I made the mistake of checking my Blackberry for an urgent email I was expecting from another client.  I didn't disrupt anything by checking my phone, but apparently the VP noticed, and at the end of the meeting, she made a passing comment about how she's made an effort to never check her Blackberry during meetings.

Needless to say, after getting called out by a senior VP like that, I got the message.

Fast forward a few weeks to yesterday...

I'm scheduled to attend another small meeting with the same set of clients and the same senior VP.  Exact same scenario as a few weeks ago.

So, on my way to the meeting, I double-check my phone to make sure it's on silent, and I put it in my pocket.  Furthermore, I make a strong mental note to myself: "Dude, don't touch your cell phone this time or she is gonna flip."


Needlessly to say, I made damn sure I wasn't going to disturb the meeting again.

Anyway, we start the meeting.  It's going well.  Great discussion.  I'm more or less quiet, letting the important people do the talking, when suddenly...

Riiiiiiiiing, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.


Phone rings.  I nearly poop my pants.  On the spot.  Seriously.  I am literally paralyzed by fear for a good 2 seconds thinking I'm gonna get fired for screwing up again.  My life is over.

Then I realize it's my boss' cell phone.  He's sitting next to me and has the exact same ringtone as me.  He calmly pulls out his phone and turns it off.  And the meeting continues as if nothing had happened.

But in my mind I'm still in terror shock, trying to calm down.  My heartbeat is still trying to recover from those 2 seconds of sheer terror.  And even though I knew everything was fine and that it wasn't my phone, I was still in a cold sweat the rest of the meeting.

Anyway, the whole situation confirmed two things for me:
1. Always put your cell phone on silent before meetings.
2. Always wear deodorant

Quick thinking

So I'm in the grocery store doing some food shopping (like the responsible adult that I am), when I decide to make a pit stop in the Men's Room.  No biggy.

After doing my business, I of course go to wash my hands at the sink, but as I lean over the sink, the front of my pants touches the counter.  Much to my chagrin, I quickly realize the entire counter is covered in water, and the front of my pants are totally soaked!

It's like a Rorschach test:

"Okay, what's the #1 thing you see here?"

So now my pants are all messed up in front, and I'm in the middle of a grocery store.  What do I do?!

Have no fear, friends!  As you all know, I am a very clever and brilliant person, and I think quickly on my feet.  Like MacGyver, but with no shame.

What was my solution?  Simple!  Untuck my shirt and cover the "evidence".

Yes, this is the second picture I took of myself in the public bathroom.

And yes, that is some guy walking behind me, probably thinking
"Why the hell is this perv taking a picture of his crotch in the mirror?"

Just another day in the life of Stiebel.

Heard during a board meeting

Heard during a board meeting:
Person 1: "We need to treat this issue gingerly."
Person 2: "I agree we need to treat this gingerly, but I just don't know if we can afford to be, um,....ginger..."
Everyone: [Awkward silence]

Sophisticated karaoke

Went to karaoke this weekend.  Lots of good songs were performed, and they had the lyrics projected on screens around the stage.  This was great because  people often don't know the words to the songs.

For example, this song had particularly difficult lyrics...

So deep and poetic...I'm really feeling the symbolism

LOL

Who needs ironing?

Some of the collars of my dress shirts needed to be re-creased and re-pressed.  This is how I took care of that.

Low starch, heavy on the literature

(Other appropriate captions include Set it, and Forget it! and Ironing board?! I don't need no stinkin' ironing board!)

Coconut milk

Bought some cereal at the airport this morning.  Saw that they had some new coconut drink that looked healthy and interesting.  So I bought a small carton of the coconut milk stuff, and then I thought, "hey, I wonder if putting coconut milk on cereal is a good idea?"

Not if it's coconut water.

Coconut WATER and Raisin Bran....part of a nutritious disgusting breakfast

Thing I saw at the airport today

A guy is in his car at the Passenger Drop-Off lane at the airport.  He is blocking a lot of through-traffic because of where he decided to stop his car.

The parking enforcer lady is not happy.  After ordering him to move a few times, she writes him a parking ticket and tries to stick it under his windshield wiper...but the guy turns on his windshield wipers so she can't put the ticket in!!


Parking enforcer lady was NOT happy.

(There wasn't really an end to this story.  I think the guy finally drove off and everything at the airport went back to normal.)

Beverage

So I was asked to bring some "beverages" to a friend's costume party last week.  I went to the nearby grocery store to buy the drinks, and I decided to get a large bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey.  The BIG bottle.

I use the self-checkout aisle, the lady checks my ID, I pay, and off I go.  I'm pretty excited about showing up with this fairly large bottle to my friend's place, but when I get there... I realize that drinking the Jack will be more difficult than expected...

Yes, that is the electronic security alarm still attached

to the bottle.

And yes, that is my "I'm-sad-but-I-can't-wait-to-post-

this-on-my-blog" face.

And so, due to my slight incompetence, the party was whiskey-less for the night.

But the next day, I marched back to the grocery store and demanded they unlock the bottle.  And they did!  Success!

"And He said, 'Let there be Jack!'

And there was Jack.  And behold, it was good."

And that was that, my friends.

Gorgeous view from my hotel suite

Travelled to exotic Alberta, Canada for work last week.  Checked into the luxurious Holiday Inn.  But the best part was the amazing view from my hotel room window...

On a clear day, you can see for inches and inches

It's almost as good as the Holiday Inn Alaska, where you can see all the way to Russia.