Draydel

So my nephew Eliyahu is currently ~2.5 years old, and he has entered the transition period between speaking gibberish nonsense and meaningful sentences.  It's a very entertaining time.

This past Friday afternoon, I was on Skype with my sister's mom-in-law and Eliyahu.  She leaves the room for a few minutes, and he is sitting on the bed by himself, in this pajama onesie with full pantaloons and footsy-things.

Imagine these pajamas, except filled with a baby.

That's what he looked like.

Anyway, I'm talking with him, -- er, I should say I'm talking to him -- through Skype, and he starts to scratch and pick at the underside of his leg and butt.  He's still sitting on the bed, but he's leaning back with one leg pointing straight up in the air.  And he was scratching and picking all over the place, under his thigh, under his knee, under his butt.

Mom-in-law comes back in the room, and Eliyahu yells out "Draydel!"  I tell her I don't know what he's yelling about, but that maybe he needs his diaper changed.

"Draydel! Draydel!"

More picking and scratching.

"Draydel!"

We decide to ignore his shouts about the mysterious draydel, and instead we keep talking while Eliyahu sits near her on the bed.  Suddenly, he unzips his pajamas entirely open, and starts to strip!  Then, he reaches deep down into the depths of his onesie, ....and pulls out a draydel!  He lifts it high into the air, as if he has just pulled the Sword from the Stone and has been anointed king.

The next time I lose my keys or cell phone, I know where to look.

History lesson

I heard the following story from one of the rabbis here who teaches a group of seminary girls at another school nearby.

Last week, their school took the girls on a trip to visit Sde Boker, a town/village in Israel, most famous for it's founder, David Ben Gurion.  He was the first prime minister of the state of Israel, and is arguably the biggest name in the history of the state of Israel (next to Theodore Herzl.)  It is safe to say that he is as famous as George Washington is to the US.  In fact, Israel's main (and only) international airport is named Ben Gurion International..

Anyway, David Ben Gurion is buried in Sde Boker, but when the tour guide brought the girls to the gravesite, one of the girls apparently asked, "Oh, is that the airport guy?"

Cell Phone History

Ok, time for another crazy story from Yours Truly.

Background:
After getting to Israel in August, I rented a phone for the year from a local cell phone provider.  They focus on providing American students short-term phone rentals in Israel.  They gave me an old cell phone to use, but they apparently forgot to clear all the old contact phone #s and text messages, etc.

Today, I discovered that there are a ton of old Sent Text messages saved in the phone, clearly belonging to the last few people who owned the phone before me.  Before deleting them en masse, some of the old sent messages piqued my interest.  So I decided to scan through some of them.
(Note: I am only able to see the outbound SENT messages; I cannot see any of the incoming messages.)

The first sent message that I really noticed was this one:

To Leo-  Going to hospital cuz I keep having panic attacks and passing out. i can't deal. :( tell ur mom i loved her call.  i'll be okay. :(  i just hope i get thru this fast

Based on this, I'm thinking the previous phone owner was probably some American girl here for a pre-college gap year program in Israel, and she can't deal with living on her own for the first time.  Typical teenager.
But the next few texts seemed to suggest something more.
(Note that these are going backwards chronologically.)

To D-  I can't talk about it much cuz it makes me too anxious, but i'm grateful for everyones support

To D-  I'm not supposed to talk about it cuz it gives me anxiety.  I'm just really lucky.  lots of overwhelming feelings.

To D-  I mean emotionally I'm having a hard time but physically just a bruise! Thank God!

To D-  I'm not overwhelmed that I'm leaving [Israel] just overwhelmed that my brain doesn't work and my hands shake! But with God's help I'll be okay.

To P-  I want to come over soon.  I can't think straight.  I don't like being alone here.

Then I read this text and realized this person might actually have a real reason to be 'emotionally overwhelmed'

To D-  Like everyone around me was bleeding and hurt and i was totally alive.  It's not normal! So I'm leaving Sunday.
To P-  No I'm not okay but i'm trying. A social worker is coming to try and help us.
To D-  O, he was my brother's friend. Thank God now I'm okay. I am so lucky. I'm just drained and still shaken up. Dani and I said Shema. It's not normal!
[Note: 'Shema' is a Jewish prayer that is said before one dies (or if you think you are about to die.)]

And then I got to the crazy and realized what she was talking about...

To D-  No physically fine.  Was on the bus that blew up. Thank God still alive. Thanks for asking
To P-  The bus blew up glass shattered and I said Shema

To P-  I was in the terrorist attack. i'm going to the hospital.

To E-  I'm so sorry, I need to cancel babysitting. i was just in the terrorist bombing. i'm okay but shaken up

WTF! Crazy! This person was actually on the bus that got bombed in Jerusalem this past March (which amazingly killed only 1 person).  And she lived!  And she didn't even get hurt! And I have her phone! And it still works!

Craziness!

PS. That bombing was the first bombing attack in Israel in almost 4 years.  It's actually a very safe place to live, so hopefully this post doesn't convey the wrong idea about living in Israel.  Come visit!
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_Jerusalem_bus_stop_bombing>.

Hallucinations

So I visited my cousins in Netanya in Israel this week, but within a few hours of getting there, I suddenly came down with a really bad flu.  Headache, bodyache, runny nose.  Pretty miserable.

Basically, as soon as I started feeling under the weather, I laid down on my cousin's couch and tried going to sleep.  I didn't move for 24 hours.  That's how bad I felt.

But what made this 24 hour flu really memorable were the hallucinations that accompanied the headache and sore throat, etc.  And what, praytell, did I hallucinate about during my time on the couch?

Elephants.

More accurately, one elephant.  My pet elephant. My pet elephant that has been living in my cousin's apartment. My elephant that I need to get rid of, but it's too big to get out through my cousin's door, and so it's effectively stuck in the apartment.

And the worst part?  My fever won't go away until I find a way to get rid of the elephant.  Literally, the only way to get healthy again was to get the elephant out of the apartment somehow. (Note that this situation seemed perfectly normal to me.  Not strange at all.)

Fortunately, after a rough 24 hours, the elephant miraculously disappeared, and my fever broke.  I don't know how the elephant got out of the apartment, nor do I know where the he/she went to, but I hope it is doing alright and I wish it well in all its future endeavors.

Beard

Now that I'm unemployed, I no longer need to shave every day.  Which means that I just stopped shaving entirely (obviously).  In fact, it's been almost a month and a half since I last shaved (early August).  [To be clear, I still shower every day, thank you very much.]

Anyway, the point of this post is to announce officially that my beard went from Full to Shaggy earlier this week, and I've also got a significant neck beard growing, too!

In a few weeks, my beard will qualify me for Bear Jew status.

That is all.

American vs Israeli customer service

A funny thing I "learned" today from one of my teachers here in Israel.

In America, customer service is amazing and revolutionary.  You can be taken care of within minutes (usually); banks and post offices are open late.  You can always find time to go take care of stuff during your free time.

In Israel, it's not like that.  Sometimes a store or place is open during the work day, and sometimes for only an hour.  I'm pretty sure they find out what hours you aren't available, and that is when they decide to open.

You can go to a bank, and the sign will say: "Open whenever Stiebel isn't available."

:)

It's funny cuz it's basically true.

 

 

A new person in Chicago

Background 1:
My synagogue in Chicago sends out an email to the congregation every week with announcements and whatnot.

Background 2:
A shokhet is a trained kosher meat butcher, who knows the various Jewish laws pertaining to how to properly slaughter meat for kosher consumption (cows, chickens, etc.)

Understand the background?
Ok, good.  Now you should understand why the following announcement in this week's synagogue email made me laugh.

Please welcome our new intern Aaron, who will be with us for the first time next week.   Aaron is a certified schokhet, and he is looking forward to meeting everyone.

Hide yo kidz! Hide yo wife!

Lady on the train

So I took the express train from the airport to Haifa this morning.  Despite being surrounded by all my heavy luggage, the ride was actually quite comfortable, and the view of the seaside and countryside going by was great.

Halfway through the quiet 60-minute ride, I hear music from the seat behind me.  At first I thought it is just someone's song ringtone, but the song keeps playing in full....then another song starts, then another.  Someone was listening to music outloud!  How rude! (It was definitely too loud to just be leaking from someone's headphones.)

Everyone else on the train (except me) had iPods or mp3 players with headphones, so I guess they didn't notice the noise.  But I sure did.  Honestly, the music would not have been so bad, but the songs playing were some sort of bad cross between Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi and Barney.

Anyway, then suddenly I hear a newscast or something from behind me.  This person was now watching TV outloud!  WTF!

I thought that if you didn't have headphones with which to listen to music, radio, TV on your phone, proper etiquette is to not listen to it at all (or at least on a very low volume.)  So this lady behind me apparently missed the etiquette memo.

But when it was my train stop, I took a glance behind me, and I was wrong about her listening to music/TV on her phone.  She literally had an FM radio and mini-TV with her on the train!


Anyway, the whole episode didn't really bother me.  (As usual, my first thought was 'I need to post this on the blog.')  But it was pretty funny (in my humble opinion.)

UPDATE: David in Israel

After spending a few days in Detroit, then a few days in Boston and New York to visit friends, and then a 12-hour layover in London, I finally made it to Israel.  Woo hooo!

I landed this morning and took the express train North to Haifa, to my college friends' apartment.  Yay for reunions!  I will spend Shabbat here, and eventually make it to Jerusalem (probably Monday) for the start of my program.

I plan on updating the blog as much as I can with stories new and old.  Thanks for reading!

(I found out I might be able to send blog updates by text message, instead of typing them up on my computer first.  This means it will be easier to post updates and stories, but it also means less thinking-through my posts, which ultimately means more entertaining/embarrassing content.  Lucky you!)

Feeling fit

I've been in Pittsburgh for work since Sunday night, and for some reason I am feeling pretty good.  I mean I'm feeling more physically-fit than usual this week, like I've lost weight or something.

Oh, nevermind.  I forgot to pack my belt this week, so my pants are just loose.  :(

Passover Cupcakes

Crumbs Bake Shop is a small cupcake bakery with stores throughout the East Coast, and one in Chicago (I think.)  There is some talk about whether or not they are reliably kosher, but that's not what this post is about.

Someone mentioned to me that Crumbs is selling a line of Flourless Passover Cupcakes this week!  Awesome!

After a little Googling, I found their cupcake page with this description of their "Passover Collection":

Flourless wonders! Three each of our taste size Passover cupcakes Chocolate/Vanilla Commandments, Elijah's Delight, Holy Moses and Raspberry Red Sea. Our cupcakes are certified Kosher, but not Kosher for Passover. Available in stores beginning 4/11.

Wait, their Passover cupcakes are not kosher for Passover?!  Then what's the point!!  I guess I'll have to stick with matzah for the rest of the week.  Om nom nom

Colleague

Got the following email from one of the guys in my office today. [I removed names for privacy reasons]:

Told [Client A] and [Client B] I was going to business school next year. [Client B] asked how things were going to work with my girlfriend to which I replied that we were no longer together. He then tried to set me up with his daughter. He ended our lunch saying he and [Client A] would invite me out for dinner sometime later on - and include his daughter.
 Funniest part: [Client B]'s daughter has a boyfriend - He just doesn't like him.

I guess there are some unique perks to working with clients who have 20+ year-old daughters.

Free snacks

My office regularly puts out free food and snacks in the kitchen/cafeteria area.  Usually these are leftovers from local take-out places (Jimmy John's, various pizza places, etc.)  This is a great perk in our office....except that most of the time I can't take advantage because the food isn't kosher.  (Not that I would expect it to be kosher.)

But today, I walk into the kitchen... and there is a HUGE basket of Chips Ahoy cookies, a bunch of bags of potato chips, carrots, and a bunch of tubs hummus... and they are all KOSHER!!  Woo Hoo!

I was so excited at my good fortune!!!....until I realized that it's Passover and I can't eat it... FML

Scared face

I'm working late in the office.  There aren't really any people around.  I go to the men's room.  After washing my hands, I turn to walk out and I nearly walk into a random guy who had entered without me noticing.  Instead of just saying 'excuse me' and walking out, I'm pretty sure I squeaked and briefly made a scared face. (He surprised me!)

To clarify, I squeaked.  I did not scream.

Note to self:
Stop getting into weird situations in the bathroom.

TV remote from hell

Who knew you could get carpal tunnel from channel surfing?