Hamentaschen

I had a little baking extravaganza in my kitchen a few nights ago with my friend Deirdre.  I helped her make a few dozen hamentasch cookies for Purim.

After making a delicious raw dough (her mom's recipe apparently), we rolled it out flat, and cut circles from the dough.

Despite being a math major, I did not realize that

you need to cut circles in order to make triangle cookies.

After filling and shaping all the hamentaschen, we had to use my itty bitty toaster oven to bake them.  (Don't ask why.)  This was pretty hilarious because my toaster oven is only about 1 foot wide, and only a few inches tall.  It's perfect for pierogies.  Probably not so perfect for baking cookies.

This is only one step up from an Easy-Bake oven

But after 15 minutes, the cookies came out great!  Like really really really good.

50% poppy seed. 50% raspberry filling. 100% delicious.

Anyway, baking was actually a ton of fun, and it actually turned out really well, which made it even better in the end.  Perhaps I shall try baking more things in my toaster oven in the future!

Happy Purim!

Stupid Stiebel-only problem

A short anecdote about me being unnecessarily stupid in public:

Last Friday, I attended a recruiting event for my company.  We were giving a presentation to a group of business students for Univ of Iowa, followed by some mingling and Q&A.

So during the mingling/Q&A, I'm with a few of my colleagues talking with a handful of the undergrad students from Iowa.  Very nice conversation and whatever whatever.

But as the conversation progresses, I realize that my yarmulke on my head is slowly sliding backwards.  (Because I had just gotten a really short haircut, my yarmulke tends to slide more often.)

Now, normally, if my yarmulke starts to slide or fall off, I simply reach up and move it back up with my hand.  But for some reason, I thought that reaching up and grabbing my yarmulke during this Q&A conversation would interrupt the flow of conversation among the group.

So instead of sliding the yarmulke back onto the top of my head, I simply started to tilt my head forward.  The more it slid backward, the more I tilted forward.  But pretty soon, I was staring at everyone's feet!  And at the same time, I was still trying to carry on a totally normal conversation!

Ugh, this is a situation that only I would get into.

In the end, I realized that trying to talk with my chin on my chest was more awkward than simply reaching up and readjusting my yarmulke.  So I did.  And no one even blinked or noticed.

(But on the positive side, I'm pretty sure my socks matched each other that day.)

Laundry - the Stiebel way

So I recently discovered that I had run out of clean underwear and black socks.  But I didn't want to run an entire load of laundry just for underwear and black socks.  So someone mentioned that I could just wash them in my sink.

And then they wisely clarified that I should use my bathroom sink.

And so last night, I did some laundry by hand in my bathroom sink.  I definitely need to work on my technique, though, because the first thing I did was pour way too much detergent into the sink full of water.  So before I put my black socks in, the water was a beautiful blue color.

But after I put my socks in......

I'm definitely glad I didn't use my kitchen sink for this job.

Anyway, after hand washing my socks and boxers, I needed to hang them up.

Brilliant

Unfortunatley, in the morning, most of the laundry was still wet.  But I had to take a shower before work!  So I basically had to find random places around my apartment to hang up the remaining wet laundry.  On doorknobs, on lamps, on chairs.  (I really hope I remember to put these all away before I have more guests over.)

Anyway, all in all, the mission was a success.  I now have clean socks and boxers for another week (hopefully).  You can all stop worrying.

Baby on board

Caution: Baby on bed.

Proceed with caution

New bed frame!

Hey, look at me!  I got a real bed frame now!  Now I'm a real boy!

it's pretty awesome.  i know.

I think my friends are more excited about this than I am, though.  I don't understand what the big deal is about a bed frame.  Before this, I had a mattress and boxspring, which basically did the same thing.  But my friends here in Chicago have been belittling me about not having a real bed.  So I finally gave in to their pressure.

The bed frame has built-in shelves, so now I have to decide what to put in them.  One major issue is that these shelves are basically on the ground.  And I don't like bending over.  So this might be a problem.

My hallway

I live on the third floor of my apartment building, and the hallway does not smell very good.

It's not terribly putrid, but it just always smells bad.  Even though there is a Glade plug-in every few feet down the hallway, it doesn't help.

But THIS week, for some reason, my hallway smells like a delicious stew.  I noticed it a few days ago.  It's delightful.  And I think it's from one of my nearby neighbors.

Anyway, the stew smell is pretty strong, and it's been around for a week already.  So either the carpets have taken on the smell permanently....or else it must be a really slow-cooking stew.

Asking for advice on the bus

So I'm thinking about getting a new coat.  A new winter coat.  The one I have now is great and warm, but I really don't like the pockets.  I know I shouldn't be so picky about my coat's pockets, but these ones honestly irk me.

The pockets have two flaps.  Under one flap is the actual pocket.  Under the other flap is....nothing.  It has no bottom.  So if you drop something into your pocket under the wrong flap, it just falls straight through to the ground.  WTF?  Anyway, I'm getting a bit fed up with having to spend extra time fishing to find the right flap in my coat every time I put my keys away.  Grrrrr.....

But I digress.

I'm thinking about getting a new coat.  I know what kind of coat I want, but I have no idea where to get it.

So earlier tonight, on the bus, this guy is standing across from me, wearing the exact type of coat I want to buy (possibly).  So I'm thinking, This is my chance to find out where I can get a coat like that.

But I don't want to bother the guy.  He's minding his own business on the bus.  It would be weird to just ask him about the coat.  (And he wasn't Asian, so my normal Chinese-language excuse wasn't going to work in this situation.)

So I dilly-dally in my mind, back-and-forth, Do I ask him?  Do I not ask him?  What do I do?

After a few minutes of mental tug-of-war, I decide to ask him.  So I make the approach, say excuse me, and ask him where he bought his coat.

"China" he says.

.......

(That is the end of this story.  Sorry to disappoint.  I was sort of disappointed.)

(Erg!  I just realized I should have asked him if he speaks Mandarin!  Darn, a missed opportunity.  Ni tsai narr mai zhe jaca? )

Stiebel gets stuck in an elevator

I considered giving this post a different title because I didn't want to ruin the punchline of this story.  But then I realized that my friends will flock to read any story titled "Stiebel [did something stupid]".



So here's the story:

Wednesday morning.  Virginia.  8:30 am.

Snow storm.

My flight leaves Richmond airport at 11 am.  The airport shuttle leaves the hotel at 9 am.  It's 8:30 am, and I still need to drop off my rental car, pack, eat breakfast (if possible), and get to the shuttle.

Despite a ridiculous blizzard (20+ inches, very few snow plows), I managed to get to the rental car place safely, and one of the staff drove me back to the hotel (in a huge kick-ass monster truck).  So I'm back in my room by 8:45 am.

I decide to call the front desk to check on the shuttle.  The lady at the desk tells me that the shuttle has been cancelled, and that my flight has also probably been cancelled.  But there is a taxi leaving in 10 minutes going to the airport.  (And apparently all the other taxi companies have refused to drive to the airport in the blizzard.)

So now I have less than 10 minutes to gather my things and get to the front of the hotel.  so I quickly zip up my over-stuffed suitbag, and start lugging it down the hallway.  But my computer and laptop bag is on the 4th floor!  Argh!

So I jump in the elevator, hit #4.

The elevator goes up to the 4th floor, the doors open 1 inch and stop.  The elevator is stuck.  FML

I push the door, thinking maybe it just needs a nudge.  Nothing.
I kick the door, thinking maybe the door needs to know who's the boss.  Nothing.
I hit #4 again.  Nothing.
I hit 'Door Open'.  Nothing.
I cry.  Nothing.  (Actually, I did not cry.  I think I may have laughed, though.)

son.of.a.bitch.  Of all the possible times to get stuck in an elevator, it had to be this particular morning.

So I start ringing the emergency bell button.  But then I realize that this emergency button is actually just a bell.  It doesn't do anything useful!  It just rings a bell for as long as you hold it.  Basically, anyone standing outside the elevator probably just thinks, "O, there must be some mischievous kid in there playing with the emergency button."  WTF?!

Luckily, I had cell phone service, so I called the front desk, and told them my predicament.  The front desk called the engineers on call, who said they would be there in 10 minutes.  But I don't have 10 minutes!

Finally, after about 5 minutes, I hear the engineers, and then after a few more minutes, the elevator goes DOWN.  Wrong way dudes!  They take me all the way down to the 1st floor to let me out!  But I need to get my bag on the 4th floor.

Obviously, the guy won't let me get back in the elevator to go back up to the 4th floor (although I was totally willing to try it again.)  So I have to run to the far end of the building to the other elevator.  I run up to the 4th floor, to the room where my laptop is....and the room is locked!  What the hell?!

So I have to run to the hotel office down the hall, and luckily someone was there with the key.  They opened the room; I grabbed my bag, and ran back to the good elevator, down to the main floor, and....

...and apparently the shuttle wasn't cancelled.  The hotel lady was totally wrong.  In fact, the shuttle wasn't even leaving until 9:15-ish.  So I had some extra time.  In fact, I had time to grab a full breakfast (scrambled eggs and bacon fruit roll-up) and relax a little bit (and tell people about the elevator.)  So much for all the running around.

In the end, I got to the airport with time to spare.  No problems.  Fell asleep before take-off.  It was wonderful.  And fortunately, we did not encounter any elevators during the flight home.

The naked machine

So I'm going through security at the airport yesterday morning.  The line is pretty short.  Things are flowing pretty smoothly.  Nothing unusual going on.

But right after I walk through the basic metal detector, this husky TSA agent guy directs me into this shiny new body scanning machine.  It's kind of cool-looking, and I think I remember reading about it in the news.

Anyway, the TSA guy starts explaining to me (speaking a mile-a-minute):
"Sir, because you are next in line, you have the option of being scanned by this machine or a pat down.  You have the right to request a pat down by a female or male officer.  blah blah blah..."

So I ask him, "Oh, is this the naked machine?"

I thought it was an appropriate question.

The TSA guy was not amused:
"No, this is not the naked machine. It's a magnetron, super-imaging,radioactive,dual imaging blahblahblah."

So at this point I realized he's not laughing, so I just say OK, scan me.

And then as soon as it's done scanning me, the guy looks at the screen and turns to his partner and says, "shoot, we're gonna have to re-calibrate again."

My friend Brian thinks all my positive energy must have broken the machine.

I think he's probably right.

Bacon fruit roll-up

Kosher breakfast yesterday morning:

• Tator tots
• Scrambled eggs
• Bacon fruit roll-up...?

 

 perfectly flat and rectangular strips of

bacon-colored edible goodness

Formal dress for training finale

K'nex

I used to play with K'nex all the time.  In fact, I was a K'nex prodigy back in my younger days.

But apparently while I've been distracted from the toy world over the last few years in college, the toy industry started taking steroids.

I stayed at some family's house in Richmond for shabbat last week, and look what I found:

Holy rollercoasters, batman!

This is some crazy engineering.  It's a double-flipping inverted criss-crossed ride from hell.  Even the name sounds bad-ass:

I'm lovin' the alliteration ;)

Despite the awesomeness of t his construction, I still think that the cars and rollercoasters and merry-go-rounds and buildings that I built with my K'nex sets (many decades ago) were superior to this modern marvel.  Specifically because I had to build each of my projects entirely from basic K'nex pieces.  They didn't provide specialty pre-fabricated pieces for the difficult parts of each project (Notice how the rollercoaster track is actually one long special piece that clips onto the frame.  LAME!)

Clearly the toy industry has lost its way.  It has put profits and cheap manufacturing above our passion for engineering.  Or perhaps kids these days just don't have the same skills my generation had when we were that age.  Or perhaps I'm reading too much into this whole situation.  But I digress.

In summary, K'nex are cool.

Keeping kosher in Virginia

So I'm still here at training in Virginia.  I head back to Chicago this coming Wednesday morning.

Training has been pretty awesome.  Very intense, long days, hard work, but definitely a great experience and lots of fun to boot.

There have been a bunch of memorable moments, but some of the highlights are related to me keeping kosher here at the hotel.  Basically, they purchased a bunch of pre-wrapped, pre-cooked meals for me from a local kosher caterer.  Each breakfast/lunch/dinner, the chefs in the kitchen heat it up and give it to me.  Pretty straightforward.  And the hotel staff has been extremely accommodating and helpful, which has been great.

Last night, the whole training program went out to eat instead of eating in the hotel.  So one of the staff told me that she would bring my meal to me on the bus, and I could eat it at the restaurant.  But she had to wait for the chef to finish heating it up.

So I'm on the bus with a couple dozen other people waiting, and the staffperson finally walks on with my food.

A styrofoam box and......a giant bottle of kosher grape juice.

Rockin' the Kedem grape juice

It also had a big, hot pink post-it note on the bottle that said "FOR SABBATH 02/05/10".

A few people sitting nearby leaned over the seat to get a better look, and I the best comment was definitely, "What? No Manischewitz?"

So basically, I ended up lugging this bottle of grape juice around with me all night.  I still haven't opened it yet.  I think I'm going to save it for a special occasion.  (Perhaps FOR SABBATH 02/12/10!)

More stories to come...

Stacked bagel lunch

Bagel piled with cream cheese, onion, lox,

 potato chips (Sour Cream flavor),

tomato, and tuna salad

Pretty good, but alas, no hot sauce :-(

Complimentary Hotel Slippers

a wee bit small for me

Now all I need is a bathrobe and a cigar

Awkward Quote of the Week

So I'm at a work training program in Virginia this week.  Fortunately, the hotel arranged kosher meals for me for breakfast/lunch/dinner.  They have been very helpful with this (although the food so far has been a bit...meh.)  Each meal, I just ask the wait staff for my meal, and they bring it over to my table.  They are very nice about it.

Anyway, this anecdote happened last night:

I'm at dinner, sitting at a table with other members of my training group, including a guy from Paris, France.  Earlier in the meal, he had asked the waittress if they had any French bread rolls.  She brought him some, and he thanked her for accommodating him.

This is what she responded:

"Oh, don't worry about it, honey.  Everybody likes bread.  The French like their bread; the Spanish like their bread; (motions towards me)... The Jews like their matzah. (wink wink)"

I can't make this stuff up.

Landscape

I took this picture during my flight from Chicago to Virginia yesterday afternoon.  I thought it was a cool terrain.

mother f*ing nature

I don't know exactly were when I took this, but since the flight was direct from Chicago to Virginia, I'm pretty sure it was somewhere over the United States.