The cotton-part of a Q-tip got stuck deep in my ear. Crap!!
Update:
Five minutes and a bent paper clip - All is back to normal. Carry on.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Best Valet Ever
(I apologize in advance for any typos or grammatical erros appear in this entry. I'm trying to type this with tears of laughter in my eyes.)
For the last two nights, I've used the hotel's valet to park my car (because it's included in my room cost.) The guys working valet are very nice, and it's been fun pretending to be all important while they take care of my vehicle.
So last night, I pull in, and this one middle-aged valet worker takes my car. And just before I walk off, he says, "Have a good night, and Shalom!"
Hilarious, right? But I've had people say stuff like that to me all the time. Wearing a yarmulke gets you some great reactions from people all over the place. (Like the 7-foot tall, 400-pound bouncer who gave me a hug and told me we were brothers because he also reads the bible. Or the guy who came up to me on the bus one day last summer and asked me if I "was of the Jewish persuasion," so he could ask me some questions about religion.)
Anyway, this valet guy says Shalom to me, which is very nice. So I chuckle, and go inside while he parks my car. The next evening, I pull into the hotel again after work, and the same valet guy walks up to the car. And I actually smile because I'm expecting he will say Shalom again.
Boy did I underestimate this guy.
As we're standing outside the car, he starts to tell me his story:
But he keeps going:
Needless to say, I had to pick up my jaw off the floor. I couldn't believe what I was seeing (and hearing.) I also had to restrain myself from asking to record him singing.
(This also reminds me of the famous AEPi Weiner Circle video. I included the link here, but note that it's got some very inappropriate language in it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1Y2wV_xTTc )
For the last two nights, I've used the hotel's valet to park my car (because it's included in my room cost.) The guys working valet are very nice, and it's been fun pretending to be all important while they take care of my vehicle.
So last night, I pull in, and this one middle-aged valet worker takes my car. And just before I walk off, he says, "Have a good night, and Shalom!"
Hilarious, right? But I've had people say stuff like that to me all the time. Wearing a yarmulke gets you some great reactions from people all over the place. (Like the 7-foot tall, 400-pound bouncer who gave me a hug and told me we were brothers because he also reads the bible. Or the guy who came up to me on the bus one day last summer and asked me if I "was of the Jewish persuasion," so he could ask me some questions about religion.)
Anyway, this valet guy says Shalom to me, which is very nice. So I chuckle, and go inside while he parks my car. The next evening, I pull into the hotel again after work, and the same valet guy walks up to the car. And I actually smile because I'm expecting he will say Shalom again.
Boy did I underestimate this guy.
As we're standing outside the car, he starts to tell me his story:
"So before Seattle I was in the Navy, maritime, for 20 years. I went all over the place: England, Barcelona, (names some other cities), Morocco, Haifa, Israel."I think to myself: Cool, the guy has been to Israel. That's one step above just saying Shalom.
But he keeps going:
"So one time I was flying from Barcelona to New York, and I was sitting next to this rabbi the whole time. And during the flight, he taught me how to sing the entire Hava Nagila."...wait, what? Did he really just say that?
"Yeah, I learned the whole thing. Wanna hear it?"Um, of course.
"Hava nagila, hava nagila, hava nagila, v'nism'cha..."And he sings the whole damn song!! Right there on the street in front of the hotel!! Granted, a lot of it was gibberish, but c'mon! How ridiculous is that?!
Needless to say, I had to pick up my jaw off the floor. I couldn't believe what I was seeing (and hearing.) I also had to restrain myself from asking to record him singing.
(This also reminds me of the famous AEPi Weiner Circle video. I included the link here, but note that it's got some very inappropriate language in it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1Y2wV_xTTc )
More stupid things in Seattle
Monday afternoon
I pick up my friend Jeremy in Seattle to go to dinner, but since I'm still getting used to my rental car, I put the car into drive instead of reverse and almost rear-end his car. Oops!
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Monday evening
I try calling my Dad in Detroit to say hello. I calculate that it's 10:30 PM Detroit-time, but when he picks up the phone, he sounds extremely sleepy and tired. After about 10 seconds, I remember that I'm in Seattle, which is definitely not in Chicago. So it's actually 12:30 AM in Detroit. Sorry, Aba!
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Wednesday afternoon, in the office
I'm working at my desk, while finishing off a Greek salad from lunch. Nothing too interesting going on. I yawn... rub my eyes....and successfully get some of the dressing in my eye. Brilliant.
Of course, I don't have any napkins nearby to wipe my eyes, so I have to walk all the way to the bathroom with bloodshoot and teary eyes in order to wash my eyes out with water. (The salad was delicious, by the way.)
I pick up my friend Jeremy in Seattle to go to dinner, but since I'm still getting used to my rental car, I put the car into drive instead of reverse and almost rear-end his car. Oops!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday evening
I try calling my Dad in Detroit to say hello. I calculate that it's 10:30 PM Detroit-time, but when he picks up the phone, he sounds extremely sleepy and tired. After about 10 seconds, I remember that I'm in Seattle, which is definitely not in Chicago. So it's actually 12:30 AM in Detroit. Sorry, Aba!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday afternoon, in the office
I'm working at my desk, while finishing off a Greek salad from lunch. Nothing too interesting going on. I yawn... rub my eyes....and successfully get some of the dressing in my eye. Brilliant.
Of course, I don't have any napkins nearby to wipe my eyes, so I have to walk all the way to the bathroom with bloodshoot and teary eyes in order to wash my eyes out with water. (The salad was delicious, by the way.)
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Not the best choice of words
So it's late Tuesday night. I'm in my hotel room preparing for bed. I call the front desk to schedule a wake up call. The lady politely asks me if I need anything else. On a whim, I decide to ask if they have any Neosporin-type ointment for a small cut I have on my ear. I doubted that they had it, but I thought I would ask anyway.
Conversation
Me: "Do you happen to have any Neosporin-type cream? Maybe from a first-aid kit perhaps?"
Lady: "Oh, hmm, no I don't think we have that. I can check for you, if you'd like."
Me: "Oh, no, that's fine. Don't worry about it."
Lady: "Are you sure? I can check for you, if you really need it."
Me: "No, it was just a stab in the dark."
Lady: ---silence--- "....Ummm..."
Me: "Good night!" -hangs up quickly-
I hope she didn't get the wrong idea. ;)
Conversation
Me: "Do you happen to have any Neosporin-type cream? Maybe from a first-aid kit perhaps?"
Lady: "Oh, hmm, no I don't think we have that. I can check for you, if you'd like."
Me: "Oh, no, that's fine. Don't worry about it."
Lady: "Are you sure? I can check for you, if you really need it."
Me: "No, it was just a stab in the dark."
Lady: ---silence--- "....Ummm..."
Me: "Good night!" -hangs up quickly-
I hope she didn't get the wrong idea. ;)
Stupid things I did on Day 1 in Seattle
Flight
During my flight, I was watching the Office on the overhead, in-flight TV. It was the episode where they think they are getting shaken down by the mob, and Pam and Jim are on their honeymoon, but everyone keeps calling them for help anyway. F'ing hilarious.
And of course, on the quiet afternoon flight, surrounded by dozens of other passengers, I laugh very out loud. Repeatedly. (And I might have shed a small tear during the showing of The Blind Side, but that wasn't as noticeable.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morning
Last night, in my hotel room, before going to sleep, I plugged my phone charger into the outlet to charge my phone all night. In the morning, assuming my phone was fully charged, I didn't bother taking the charger to the office. Halfway through my commute, I realize my phone is barely charged. Why didn't it charge at night? Because that particular electrical outlet was controlled by the room's lightswitch, which was off all night.
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Lunch
I left the office for a short drive to a local kosher pizza place to grab lunch. I was able to make it back round trip in less than 20 minutes. But when I got back, I couldn't find any parking. Not in the surface parking lot, and not in any level of the parking structure. I literally circled down into the depths of hell without finding a single open spot. And since this was my first day, I also didn't really know where else I could park. So after traveling through several back alleys, going the wrong way down several different one-way streets, and pulling a U-turn across 3 lanes of traffic, I finally found a spot somewhere. (And I got to my desk just in time for my post-lunch coma to kick in.)
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Evening
It's only 3 pm, so I can't yet write about the inevitable stupid thing I will do this evening, but it's worth it to save the space here.
During my flight, I was watching the Office on the overhead, in-flight TV. It was the episode where they think they are getting shaken down by the mob, and Pam and Jim are on their honeymoon, but everyone keeps calling them for help anyway. F'ing hilarious.
And of course, on the quiet afternoon flight, surrounded by dozens of other passengers, I laugh very out loud. Repeatedly. (And I might have shed a small tear during the showing of The Blind Side, but that wasn't as noticeable.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morning
Last night, in my hotel room, before going to sleep, I plugged my phone charger into the outlet to charge my phone all night. In the morning, assuming my phone was fully charged, I didn't bother taking the charger to the office. Halfway through my commute, I realize my phone is barely charged. Why didn't it charge at night? Because that particular electrical outlet was controlled by the room's lightswitch, which was off all night.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lunch
I left the office for a short drive to a local kosher pizza place to grab lunch. I was able to make it back round trip in less than 20 minutes. But when I got back, I couldn't find any parking. Not in the surface parking lot, and not in any level of the parking structure. I literally circled down into the depths of hell without finding a single open spot. And since this was my first day, I also didn't really know where else I could park. So after traveling through several back alleys, going the wrong way down several different one-way streets, and pulling a U-turn across 3 lanes of traffic, I finally found a spot somewhere. (And I got to my desk just in time for my post-lunch coma to kick in.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Evening
It's only 3 pm, so I can't yet write about the inevitable stupid thing I will do this evening, but it's worth it to save the space here.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Why I work better from home
My work allows me to go home and work from there sometimes (assuming I don't have any meetings or a specific need to be in the office.) This is nice because sometimes it's just easier to work from home. But it's also easier to accidentally take a 3-hour nap at home.
Anyway, yesterday, I was given a lot of reading to do for my new workstream. Basically, I had to read a bunch of background info on our new client company, about what work has been done so far for them, and what we think we're going to be doing in the next few months.
Although it's an interesting workstream, it's not so interesting when you have to read dozens and dozens (and dozens) of pages of stuff with lots of acronyms I don't recognize. (And a lot of the statistics are repeated many many times in different files.)
Anyway, after a few hours of trudging through the readings, I decided I would go home a bit early and continue reading there. It seemed like a good idea.
So I get home, crack open my laptop, and.....lo and behold! I was WAY more productive at home than in the office. I was way more focused on the readings, and I felt more interested in the material. (I know. I know. You are surprised by this. You thought I must have fallen asleep or something. Well, you are wrong. I didn't fall asleep. hmph.)
Anyway, I didn't really understand why I was more focused and productive at home than in the office until this morning. I just figured it out. The reason is pretty simple actually.
My home internet is much slower than my office's internet.
So why would that make me more productive? One word: YouTube.
Youtube doesn't really work on my slow home internet. In fact, it's a more frustrating internet experience at home, which makes it less likely I get distracted by all the interesting things the internet has to offer.
Anyway, this was a revelation I had a few hours ago. I'm thinking about publishing my findings in a science research journal.
Anyway, yesterday, I was given a lot of reading to do for my new workstream. Basically, I had to read a bunch of background info on our new client company, about what work has been done so far for them, and what we think we're going to be doing in the next few months.
Although it's an interesting workstream, it's not so interesting when you have to read dozens and dozens (and dozens) of pages of stuff with lots of acronyms I don't recognize. (And a lot of the statistics are repeated many many times in different files.)
Anyway, after a few hours of trudging through the readings, I decided I would go home a bit early and continue reading there. It seemed like a good idea.
So I get home, crack open my laptop, and.....lo and behold! I was WAY more productive at home than in the office. I was way more focused on the readings, and I felt more interested in the material. (I know. I know. You are surprised by this. You thought I must have fallen asleep or something. Well, you are wrong. I didn't fall asleep. hmph.)
Anyway, I didn't really understand why I was more focused and productive at home than in the office until this morning. I just figured it out. The reason is pretty simple actually.
My home internet is much slower than my office's internet.
So why would that make me more productive? One word: YouTube.
Youtube doesn't really work on my slow home internet. In fact, it's a more frustrating internet experience at home, which makes it less likely I get distracted by all the interesting things the internet has to offer.
Anyway, this was a revelation I had a few hours ago. I'm thinking about publishing my findings in a science research journal.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Life Update
So I just realized that all of my posts have been about silly trivial things happening in my life (except the socks dilemma, that was pretty significant.) So I think a basic quick life update is appropriate. Instead of giving thought to the content and structure of this update, I'm just going to let my brain empty onto the page (or computer screen). Hmm, let's see.....
1. My apartment is pretty much settled into now. I don't have anything else I really need to add (this is my personal opinion; some of my friends may disagree.) Most importantly, I have dining room table, couches, a TV, a bed (and frame), and a lamp I just brought from home. What else could I possibly need?
2. I went home this past weekend to visit family, friends. Specifically I visited my grandpa, but I also spent a great Shabbat in Oak Park, met up with some close friends for dinner, and had a little excursion to the shooting range with a few more friends. (Pictures to come soon.) Twas my first time shooting at a range, but I think I did pretty well. It was actually pretty fun (and quite affordable.) [So now I can add pistol shooting to my list of crazy adventures over the last 12 months (which already includes sky diving, getting thrown out of a Jonas Brother's groupie event in Trump Tower NYC, and private home-cooked lunch with Matisyahu, and a few more things I am probably forgetting.)]
3. Work has been good. Well, it's been interesting because I have been unstaffed for over a month (until today! more on that later.) Since I haven't had a case to work on, I have literally done nothing this entire time. I show up when I want, and leave when I want, and do what I want in between. (more on this later also.) [actually, this bullet deserves it's own post, so I'm gonna save it for now. sorry!]
4. I got staffed today! [this also probably deserves it's own post. more to come soon.]
5. Not sure if this is significant enough to include here, but I got my census form in the mail today. I feel so important! It's 4 pages long, but I only had to fill out 1 page because I don't have 12 kids. (Seriously, page 1 is the main page, and the other 3 pages are for information about the other 12 people who I don't have in my house.) Anyway, for those of you who don't know, I am a 23 yr old, non-Hispanic male.
Ok, my brain is now empty. That is all for now.
1. My apartment is pretty much settled into now. I don't have anything else I really need to add (this is my personal opinion; some of my friends may disagree.) Most importantly, I have dining room table, couches, a TV, a bed (and frame), and a lamp I just brought from home. What else could I possibly need?
2. I went home this past weekend to visit family, friends. Specifically I visited my grandpa, but I also spent a great Shabbat in Oak Park, met up with some close friends for dinner, and had a little excursion to the shooting range with a few more friends. (Pictures to come soon.) Twas my first time shooting at a range, but I think I did pretty well. It was actually pretty fun (and quite affordable.) [So now I can add pistol shooting to my list of crazy adventures over the last 12 months (which already includes sky diving, getting thrown out of a Jonas Brother's groupie event in Trump Tower NYC, and private home-cooked lunch with Matisyahu, and a few more things I am probably forgetting.)]
3. Work has been good. Well, it's been interesting because I have been unstaffed for over a month (until today! more on that later.) Since I haven't had a case to work on, I have literally done nothing this entire time. I show up when I want, and leave when I want, and do what I want in between. (more on this later also.) [actually, this bullet deserves it's own post, so I'm gonna save it for now. sorry!]
4. I got staffed today! [this also probably deserves it's own post. more to come soon.]
5. Not sure if this is significant enough to include here, but I got my census form in the mail today. I feel so important! It's 4 pages long, but I only had to fill out 1 page because I don't have 12 kids. (Seriously, page 1 is the main page, and the other 3 pages are for information about the other 12 people who I don't have in my house.) Anyway, for those of you who don't know, I am a 23 yr old, non-Hispanic male.
Ok, my brain is now empty. That is all for now.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Serious Problem
I made an unfortunate discovery a few days ago. I believe it will prove to be my downfall.
At the end of my block, about 50 feet from my front door..... there is a kosher ice cream and candy shop. [cue evil thunder] O, the horror!
Despite the strong allure of this shop and it's delicious sweets, I've been able to restrain myself. I've only visited the store twice total. *pats self on back* ...But during each of those visits, I went up to the counter a second time to buy more candy. (They had kosher gummy bears! I'm only human!)
Anyway, I think I will be able to keep myself away most of the time. Even though it's only 50 feet from my front door, I usually don't walk in that direction ever. The only time I'm on that street is when I'm driving looking for a parking spot, when I obviously can't just stop the car and get ice cream.
God help me if they open a drive-thru window.
At the end of my block, about 50 feet from my front door..... there is a kosher ice cream and candy shop. [cue evil thunder] O, the horror!
Despite the strong allure of this shop and it's delicious sweets, I've been able to restrain myself. I've only visited the store twice total. *pats self on back* ...But during each of those visits, I went up to the counter a second time to buy more candy. (They had kosher gummy bears! I'm only human!)
Anyway, I think I will be able to keep myself away most of the time. Even though it's only 50 feet from my front door, I usually don't walk in that direction ever. The only time I'm on that street is when I'm driving looking for a parking spot, when I obviously can't just stop the car and get ice cream.
God help me if they open a drive-thru window.
LEGALIZATION march in Chicago yesterday
So I was roaming the streets of downtown Chicago yesterday afternoon, when I suddenly hear drums and yelling coming from a few blocks away. Soon I notice throngs of police officers (on really cool 4-wheelers and Segway scooters.) Then, they close off the street I was walking on, and I see a HUGE throng of people marching with signs and yelling and singing and chanting.
No one seemed to know what the march was for, but soon a large truck came into view with a huge sign on it. But only one word on the sign was visible.
So I see the word LEGALIZATION, and I immediately think too myself, "Stiebel, this is going to be your next blog post: Thousands of hippies take day off from napping to march for marijuana legalization."
So I start to take some more pictures, but then I read the other signs that people are holding. Turns out it was a march to LEGALIZE illegal aliens in th US. They were marching for immigration reform. (It's certainly an important issue, but not as blog-worthy as marijuana legalization.)
Anyway, in the end, I decided to post about it anyway cuz I haven't posted in anything in a week or so. (Sorry my devoted fans!)
I also wanted to post a picture of this guy:
Adios! (get it?)
No one seemed to know what the march was for, but soon a large truck came into view with a huge sign on it. But only one word on the sign was visible.
LEGALIZATION
So I start to take some more pictures, but then I read the other signs that people are holding. Turns out it was a march to LEGALIZE illegal aliens in th US. They were marching for immigration reform. (It's certainly an important issue, but not as blog-worthy as marijuana legalization.)
Anyway, in the end, I decided to post about it anyway cuz I haven't posted in anything in a week or so. (Sorry my devoted fans!)
I also wanted to post a picture of this guy:
i think this guy is in the wrong parade...
Adios! (get it?)
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Socks
When you do laundry and clean your socks, it's normal to occasionally be left with a sock that's missing it's partner. Right? Sometimes you simply lose a sock and you can't find it's pair. It's normal.
But when I do my laundry, I somehow manage to screw up even further.
How the hell am I left with 3 unmatched socks in my laundry? Is this a Guinness record or something?
But when I do my laundry, I somehow manage to screw up even further.
1...2...3 mismatched socks
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Really bad guess
So I made an appearance at a Purim holiday costume event this past weekend. Everyone was dressed up in various outlandish outfits ranging from Spiderman to Scruff McGruff to a depressed clown to the four seasons.
I see two of my friends walk in together, so I go over to see their costumes. They are both dressed in really nice silk dresses, with pearls, and high-heels, etc. (They are both female). Basically, they look ready to go out on the town on a Saturday night. Really well dressed.
So I ask them what they are dressed as, and they say they are dressed as characters from a TV show based in Manhattan.
So I guess the first thing that comes to mind.
"Cougar town?"
Umm, needless to say, that was the wrong answer. (They were apparently dressed as characters from Gossip Girls.)
Anyway, in the future, I should try to think before I speak. Really, I should try to think before I do anything. (Of course, if I did that, then I wouldn't have anything to write in this blog.)
PS. In case you didn't know, Cougar Town is a show about 50+ year old women going out to bars trying to seduce 20 year old men. My friends are not 50+ years old.
I see two of my friends walk in together, so I go over to see their costumes. They are both dressed in really nice silk dresses, with pearls, and high-heels, etc. (They are both female). Basically, they look ready to go out on the town on a Saturday night. Really well dressed.
So I ask them what they are dressed as, and they say they are dressed as characters from a TV show based in Manhattan.
So I guess the first thing that comes to mind.
"Cougar town?"
Umm, needless to say, that was the wrong answer. (They were apparently dressed as characters from Gossip Girls.)
Anyway, in the future, I should try to think before I speak. Really, I should try to think before I do anything. (Of course, if I did that, then I wouldn't have anything to write in this blog.)
PS. In case you didn't know, Cougar Town is a show about 50+ year old women going out to bars trying to seduce 20 year old men. My friends are not 50+ years old.
Headphones
Note to self:
When turning up the volume on my computer in order to listen to something through my headphones, make sure the headphones are actually plugged into the computer. And just because I think the sound is coming through the headphones, it's probably just blasting from my computer speakers.
When turning up the volume on my computer in order to listen to something through my headphones, make sure the headphones are actually plugged into the computer. And just because I think the sound is coming through the headphones, it's probably just blasting from my computer speakers.
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