killing time

let me tell you where i am right now.

i'm currently sitting in my compact rental car, parked in a synagogue parking lot, in the pouring rain, on my laptop, with my cell phone on speaker, waiting for one last team member to join a conference call that was supposed to start 30 minutes ago.  But since it's totally unclear when we will actually be starting....

...I have some time to kill.

let me tell you, compact cars are not meant for office work.  Even though I have the drivers' seat pushed all the way back, I still can't fit my laptop comfortably in front of me, so I'm sitting at an awkward angle, with my laptop uncomfortably balanced between my right thigh and the steering wheel.  And my fingers are going numb, one by one, because of the awkward way in which I'm trying to type.  (currently, my right ring finger and elbow are out-of-commission.  ouch.)

anyway, there is really not much more to tell about my situation, so i'm going to stop typing, let my finger(s) heal, and get back to this not-yet-started, oh-so-exciting conference call.

ciao!

Status Update

A quick status update:

I've been commuting to Seattle (from Chicago) every week for the last month, and it looks like I will continue to do so for the next 3-5 months.  (Some of that time may also be spent in Denver overseeing a project launch at a company call center.)  We are doing some interesting work for a big client out here, and I'm really enjoying the project.  I'm excited to see our results over the next few months.

Outside of work, I've mainly been trying to get accustomed to this crazy travel schedule, and I think I've done a fair job so far.  I haven't lost any of my stuff yet (I think), and I'm pretty sure I'm not broke (I think).  And my frequent flyer and hotel points are racking up pretty well, so hopefully I can start using those soon.

One major issue:
I've been eating WAY too much while on the road.  This is definitely a challenge I'm facing.  The kosher food in Seattle is really good (in my opinion), and it's pretty easy to get to the various restaurants with a car.  But I'm trying to keep myself to a (relatively) healthy schedule:

Breakfast: Juice, banana, granola bar (at my desk)
Lunch: Soup + Salad (at the nearby pizza shop)
Dinner: Pasta or Pizza (at the pizza shop or the downtown Chinese place)

This is a pretty good schedule, but sometimes I can't resist getting a slice of pizza (mmmm.....) instead of a salad for lunch.  And occassionally I'll have pizza for dinner....and then somehow find myself at the Chinese place later for a second dinner!  I call it the Sweet-and-Sour Buddha-Basket diet.

I'm also still sorting out where to spend my weekends.  So far, I've been alternating between Chicago and Seattle for weekends, and I like both.  But there are more people in Chicago to hang out with, so those weekends tend to be a bit more interesting.  But Seattle is absolutely beautiful, so it's definitely worth it to spend some leisure time wandering around this area.  I'm hoping to make a day trip to the Cascade Mountains at some point, or at the very least go swimming when it's warmer.

Anyway, that's all I have for now.  Thanks for reading!

Oops

My daily routine includes stopping by a grocery store every morning on my way to the office in Seattle.  I park my car right near the front door, walk in, grab some bananas, pay, walk out, and drive the rest of the way to work.  Pretty much every day.  Like clockwork.

Except for today.

Today things turned out a little different.

I park my car, walk in, grab some food, I pay, I walk out, and walk to my car.  I click the unlock button on my key fob, listen for the click-beep that tells me the door is unlocked.  I open the door, and climb into the car.

But just as I am half into the driver's seat, I notice that there is a lady loading groceries into the passenger-side door.  And there is stuff in the backseat that I don't recognize.

And the car is a different color.

Oops.

"Um, this is my car," says the lady in a surprisingly calm manner, considering a strange man just climbed into her car outside the grocery store.

I start apologizing profusely, trying to show her how funny the situation is, but I think she just wanted me to get away from her car.

Anyway, it was not the typical start to a morning.

Loophole

Pizza place in Seattle closed a significant loophole in their drink policy.

Darn.

Words of wisdom

Don't wear a white shirt while eating hot melty pizza with one hand while driving.

Encounter with a Senior Vice President

Not a huge deal, but one of the Senior Vice Presidents of my client company was washing his hands in the men's bathroom at the same time as me today. And I didn't embarrass myself.

Pretty cool, Stiebel.

More cowbell

My case team meeting took a strange turn today.

I was meeting with four people from my team earlier today, including two of my bosses.  Right before diving into the business nitty-gritty, we were informally discussing things we did this past weekend.  One of the older consultants from San Francisco says that he had a cold all weekend, but that it allowed him to catch up on his TV and movie watching.  And then he asks us if we've seen the Christopher Walken/SNL/Cowbell sketch.

Of course I've seen that sketch, I cry.  It's only one of the greatest SNL sketches ever! I start laughing with him about it, but then I realize that the other three people on the team have no idea what we're laughing about.  They've never seen the SNL Cowbell sketch!  !!!

I try to explain the sketch to them, but then instead I suggest that we simply watch it on the overhead projector (which we were suppposed to be using for our meeting.)  My manager decides that we will watch it after we finish the meeting.  And so, the meeting goes on.

Literally the moment we finished the meeting agenda, the manager immediately says, "Ok, get on Hulu and show us this sketch, because I don't think it's as funny as you say it is.  I'm not expecting much."

So the older consultant starts searching Hulu, but he's having a hard time finding it.  So he simultaneously searches YouTube, but still can't find it.  Meanwhile, the three cowbell-virgins are starting to lose focus.

Finally, he finds a copy of the video, but it keeps pausing every 3 seconds to buffer.  So he pauses it to let it load, and asks everyone to wait.  By this time, the rest of the team is pretty well distracted with their notes and emails and whatnot.

So when he finally clicks play, the sketch starts going but only he and I are watching it.  We are laughing hysterically while the other three are not really following the sketch.  They glance up now and then with a WTF expression on their faces, but they are clearly not appreciating the greatness of the sketch.  It's just me and him laughing at every funny quote ("I have a fever, fellas...., and the only prescription...is more cowbell), at every Will Ferrell hip gyration, and at every line that Jimmy Fallon fails to deliver with a straight-face, while the rest of the team sits quietly looking at us in bewilderment.

What an odd way to end a team meeting.

More Cowbell - SNL Sketch Video

A day that will live in infamy

(This story happened more than a month ago, but I only now got the chance to type it up.  Hope it's worth the wait.)

Date: Wednesday, March 3
Location: Chicago

Another long day at the office with nothing to do.  Training had ended almost 3 weeks ago, and I still had not been staffed to a business case.  There were a handful of other guys in the office who were also unstaffed with me, so I didn't feel so terrible, but as the weeks drag on, it gets a bit frustrating.

The main issue is that first-time unstaffed consultants still have to show their face in the office each day.  Not for the whole day, but at least once.  And so, every day, I would roll in whenever I felt like it and roll out whenever I felt like it.  (How could I complain?)  And during the few hours I was in the office each day, I could do anything I wanted (aka Connect-4 and pool.)

And so on a fateful Wednesday in early March, after 3+ weeks of uneventful unstaffed days, I decided to leave the office early to go see a matinee movie.  (Because why not?)  I had already shown my face in the office, and I could leave whenever I wanted.

I get one of the other unstaffed guys to come with me, and we decide to go see Hurt Locker at 2 pm at a theater northwest of the office.  About a 20 minute rideon the blue line subway.  And my plan was to head straight home after the movie, which was a 40 minute bus-ride directly East.

So the movie starts and that's when the real story begins.

About halfway through the movie, Bing! I get an email (on my phone) from my staffing manager:

David, I got some work for you to do.  Client development with one of the office partners.  Please contact him for more information.

AAAAGHHGHGH!!  Of all the days to go see a movie in the middle-of-nowhere northwest Chicago!  I couldn't believe my luck.  I'd been unstaffed for weeks, loitering around the office doing nothing.  The minute I change my normal routine, BAM!  Client Development work.

After recovering from the shock, I shoot a quick email to the partner asking for more information about the work ("I'm looking forward to working on this exciting project!"), and continue watching the last half-hour of the movie (I paid a good $3 for that movie!)

When the movie ends, I decide to go home and work from there (instead of trekking back downtown).  My friend from work decides to go back downtown.  So I scramble out of the theater looking for the #76 bus that would get me home by 6 pm.  It was just pulling up to the stop, so I hop on, settle in for the long ride, and try to collect my thoughts.

But the bus is packed, and I'm sitting awkwardly amongst a group of 5 high-schoolers.  They're babbling and joking about some unmentionable topics (though quite hilarious.)  And there are two older men standing near the door twitching and sweating profusely.  I'm pretty sure they were tripping on drugs or in withdrawal from drugs.  And at every stop, more and more people are getting on, and the bus is hot, and the sun in directly in my eyes.  It's not a comfortable ride, and I'm looking forward to getting home soon.

But after 20 minutes, I realize I'm not recognizing any of the cross streets.

Then I realize, to my horror.

I'd been traveling WEST the entire time.

Dammit!  I quickly get off the bus, cross the street and start looking for a cab.  But I'm in west Chicago.  This is not "easily-hail-a-cab" town.  This is "get-mugged-if-you're-not-careful" town.

So I just start walking.  There are lots of cars going by me, but no cabs and no buses.

And then the situation gets even worse.

Bing!  Email from the partner:

Hi David, Thanks for helping out with this project.  Can you do a conference call right now with me and one of the managers?  It shouldn't take long.  Thanks.

AAAAGHHGHGH!!

I'm on the side of a busy road in a shady neighborhood in west Chicago as the sun is setting.  And he wants me to do a conference call?  I'm not even comfortable showing my Blackberry in this place!

But this is my first staffed opportunity.  I don't want to screw it up by delaying the project.  (And I certainly don't want to admit that I stupidly went to go see a movie in west Chicago.)  First impressions are important, right?

So I accept the conference call invitation (ugh).  But then I realize that the cars on the street are making a lot of noise in the background.  So I do the most intelligent thing I could think of:  I take the call into a quiet back-alley behind a mechanic's garage, right near a string of dumpsters.  (Obviously.)

The alley wasn't all that bad.  It was a bit dirty, yes, and every now and then a car would drive by and the driver would give me a funny look.  (I must have looked like a high-class drug dealer closing a long-distance deal by phone.)  And there was also this creepy black cat staring at me the entire time.

But other than those things, a back-alley at nightfall is not such a bad place to hold a 30-minute conference call about the Pharmaceutical industry.  :)

Also, about 5 minutes into the call, I suddenly realize I should be taking notes, so I scramble in my backpack with my free hand looking for the one half-broken pen I have in there, and I proceed to take notes on a notepad perched against the garage wall, trying to keep my phone from falling off my shoulder.  But the pen is sort of broken (of course), so most of the notes are just indentations in the paper.

Finally, the call ends, and I resume trying to get home.  After walking another 30 minutes, I finally catch an eastbound bus (trust me, I checked the direction 4 times.)  And finally, FINALLY, I make it home (in one piece) by 7:30 pm.

And the entire time, all I can think about is, "I can't wait to post this on the blog."

Exercise!

After eating 600 pounds of food (approximately) over the last week, I felt the need to exercise this weekend....And I actually did!

16.11 miles, 60 minutes, (and it should say ~750 calories)

I know it's hard to believe, but I actually did that much exercise, willingly.  I might not be the most motivated person when it comes to working out, but if you stuff me with enough food, guilt becomes a powerful motivator.

Breakfast this morning

making up for last night

Dinner last night

mmmm...garlic fries

Socks

Under my car...?

Like the apple pie, I don't understand how or why this type of weird stuff keeps ending up on/around my car.

An older, female version of myself

I met my match on my flight to Seattle today.  More specifically, the person sitting next to me repeatedly did things that reminded me of myself.

First, at the start of the flight, she starts sneezing.  Not once or twice, but like a dozen times.  And drawn out over like 10 minutes.  I thought her sneezing fit  might actually last the whole flight.  (Now that would be a blog post!)

Anyway, after the sneezing show, I promptly fall asleep (obviously.)  Apparently after an hour or two, she wants to get up, but I'm sitting in the aisle.

So then the real show begins:
I suddenly wake up to this middle-aged woman trying to squeeze through the six inches of leg space in front of me.  I try to get up to make room for her, and she flusteringly apologizes for waking me up.  But instead of waiting for me to get up, she motions that she can get by without my help, and then she accidentally knocks her cup of water all over my cell phone!  So now she's really flustery and apologizing madly, and my cell phone is wet, and I'm still half-asleep standing in the aisle.

I couldn't help but grin the whole time.  This is exactly the type of klutz stuff that I do all the time.  She must be my kindred spirit!  I almost hugged her on the spot.

Why you shouldn't wear your teenage daughter's clothes in public

Saw this guy in the airport this morning

The shirt says:

My boyfriend will kill me if you hit on me ;)