Date: Wednesday, March 3
Location: Chicago
Another long day at the office with nothing to do. Training had ended almost 3 weeks ago, and I still had not been staffed to a business case. There were a handful of other guys in the office who were also unstaffed with me, so I didn't feel so terrible, but as the weeks drag on, it gets a bit frustrating.
The main issue is that first-time unstaffed consultants still have to show their face in the office each day. Not for the whole day, but at least once. And so, every day, I would roll in whenever I felt like it and roll out whenever I felt like it. (How could I complain?) And during the few hours I was in the office each day, I could do anything I wanted (aka Connect-4 and pool.)
And so on a fateful Wednesday in early March, after 3+ weeks of uneventful unstaffed days, I decided to leave the office early to go see a matinee movie. (Because why not?) I had already shown my face in the office, and I could leave whenever I wanted.
I get one of the other unstaffed guys to come with me, and we decide to go see Hurt Locker at 2 pm at a theater northwest of the office. About a 20 minute rideon the blue line subway. And my plan was to head straight home after the movie, which was a 40 minute bus-ride directly East.
So the movie starts and that's when the real story begins.
About halfway through the movie, Bing! I get an email (on my phone) from my staffing manager:
David, I got some work for you to do. Client development with one of the office partners. Please contact him for more information.AAAAGHHGHGH!! Of all the days to go see a movie in the middle-of-nowhere northwest Chicago! I couldn't believe my luck. I'd been unstaffed for weeks, loitering around the office doing nothing. The minute I change my normal routine, BAM! Client Development work.
After recovering from the shock, I shoot a quick email to the partner asking for more information about the work ("I'm looking forward to working on this exciting project!"), and continue watching the last half-hour of the movie (I paid a good $3 for that movie!)
When the movie ends, I decide to go home and work from there (instead of trekking back downtown). My friend from work decides to go back downtown. So I scramble out of the theater looking for the #76 bus that would get me home by 6 pm. It was just pulling up to the stop, so I hop on, settle in for the long ride, and try to collect my thoughts.
But the bus is packed, and I'm sitting awkwardly amongst a group of 5 high-schoolers. They're babbling and joking about some unmentionable topics (though quite hilarious.) And there are two older men standing near the door twitching and sweating profusely. I'm pretty sure they were tripping on drugs or in withdrawal from drugs. And at every stop, more and more people are getting on, and the bus is hot, and the sun in directly in my eyes. It's not a comfortable ride, and I'm looking forward to getting home soon.
But after 20 minutes, I realize I'm not recognizing any of the cross streets.
Then I realize, to my horror.
I'd been traveling WEST the entire time.
Dammit! I quickly get off the bus, cross the street and start looking for a cab. But I'm in west Chicago. This is not "easily-hail-a-cab" town. This is "get-mugged-if-you're-not-careful" town.
So I just start walking. There are lots of cars going by me, but no cabs and no buses.
And then the situation gets even worse.
Bing! Email from the partner:
Hi David, Thanks for helping out with this project. Can you do a conference call right now with me and one of the managers? It shouldn't take long. Thanks.AAAAGHHGHGH!!
I'm on the side of a busy road in a shady neighborhood in west Chicago as the sun is setting. And he wants me to do a conference call? I'm not even comfortable showing my Blackberry in this place!
But this is my first staffed opportunity. I don't want to screw it up by delaying the project. (And I certainly don't want to admit that I stupidly went to go see a movie in west Chicago.) First impressions are important, right?
So I accept the conference call invitation (ugh). But then I realize that the cars on the street are making a lot of noise in the background. So I do the most intelligent thing I could think of: I take the call into a quiet back-alley behind a mechanic's garage, right near a string of dumpsters. (Obviously.)
The alley wasn't all that bad. It was a bit dirty, yes, and every now and then a car would drive by and the driver would give me a funny look. (I must have looked like a high-class drug dealer closing a long-distance deal by phone.) And there was also this creepy black cat staring at me the entire time.
But other than those things, a back-alley at nightfall is not such a bad place to hold a 30-minute conference call about the Pharmaceutical industry. :)
Also, about 5 minutes into the call, I suddenly realize I should be taking notes, so I scramble in my backpack with my free hand looking for the one half-broken pen I have in there, and I proceed to take notes on a notepad perched against the garage wall, trying to keep my phone from falling off my shoulder. But the pen is sort of broken (of course), so most of the notes are just indentations in the paper.
Finally, the call ends, and I resume trying to get home. After walking another 30 minutes, I finally catch an eastbound bus (trust me, I checked the direction 4 times.) And finally, FINALLY, I make it home (in one piece) by 7:30 pm.
And the entire time, all I can think about is, "I can't wait to post this on the blog."
too funny, stiebel, too funny
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